"Alone" is a bullshit word.

Now Playing - We Own the Sky by M83

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There comes a time when you're so entirely frustrated with everything that all you want to do is curl up in a ball in your bed, turn on some stupid RomCom and drown yourself in the movie's satirical hullabaloo until you fall asleep. This doesn't happen too often for me, but there are certainly instances where all I want is to scream my head off and sprint down the street naked. It's weird. You find yourself feeling this way and you think nobody can understand.

But then I remember, literally EVERY movie and TV show and song and book expresses these same feelings in its characters at one time or another. Then I realize I'm not alone. And that these phases are just that: normal, regular, standard phases. Weird to think that even the most outgoing, happiest of people find themselves at rock bottom on occasion. Just a thought. Makes you feel a lot better, though, huh? All in all, we're never really alone (unless we make it that way on purpose).

Although, sometimes having someone to share these times with and hold onto while they're going on would be great, but I'm just so damn picky. But that's off topic...

Erika

Football Savagery

Now Playing - You Can Be The Boss by Lana Del Rey

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"Daddy's using my toys again to throw at the TV."

Hi all,

It's the time of year where sports bars across the nation become a breeding ground for savagery and barabarism: the end of football season. I know it's been going on for a while and lots of powerfans have been loyal the whole year, but it's this time of the season that the claws come out and adult men pounce on eachother like high school girls fighting over who has the cutest homecoming getup.

I love that damn sport. Don't get me wrong. Honestly, if I had something swinging between my legs I would have undoubtedly been the star quarterback of my already highly ranked high school football team. Alas, I don't have a third arm so I stuck to truck-stopping girls on the Powder Puff field and chest bumping my other flat-breasted friends.

Regardless of my love for the sport, I don't think my eyes stop doing barrel rolls if I even attempt to watch games in a public location. Super fans turn into super douches. They may as well be the subjects on Animorphs as they switch from humans to wild beasts and start to butt heads like they're 7 again. Dudes calling each other assholes for cheering for Tim Tebow instead of Ben Roethlisberger... like, really? At least act like you have a head on your shoulders and maintain a little bit of composure. It's not only embarrassing for you, but also to everyone within a mile radius because undoubtedly everyone wet themselves just a little in fear for their own lives.

I was in a quaint, small restaurant enjoying cheap tacos on my college budget a couple weeks ago for the Rose Bowl. I live in Milwaukee and assumed tons of Madison fans would be crowding the bars and demanding as much Miller Light as possible. I was right, and that's fine. I love me some beer, too. But the second shit started to go down during the game, my life flashed before my eyes. I had no doubt in my mind that I would be dying that night, simply because I wasn't wearing a red shirt. This asshole was stomping his feet (he was wearing TOMS. Cool, but not athletic unless he rode his fixed-gear there) and cursing at the TV in front of everyone.It was like a child throwing a tantrum. Um, really? His girlfriend just sat there and twiddled her thumbs as if this was normalcy. I'm sure she knows by now that if she gets in the way of his douchebaggery then she's gonna lose an eye or a sibling. I wasn't even WITH the guy and my faced turned beat red at the sight of him morphing into a screaming toddler. I was just waiting (and secretly hoping) for his tantrum to turn ugly and a vessel to burst in his neck so the ambulance could come take him off our hands (and no, I didn't want him to DIE...). Enjoy your team, but come on, dude. Nobody expected their lives to be in danger by choosing to leave their house to spectate.

And to those of you who think that the "Bears suck" and "Aaron Rodgers is a God," well neither is true. Don't get me wrong, I'm a Packer fan. But in no way would I ever equate Rodgers to that of Zeus the Lightning God or Jesus Christ. And truthfully (although I don't really like the Bears), they don't suck. Unless sucking gets you making millions of dollars a year, then they suck a big one. And I'm willing to bet that if you were to go head-to-head with even their lowest of linebackers, your ass would smash so quickly into the astroturf that medics couldn't tell the difference between your face and Kate Hudson's flat chest. And while you instruct the players what to do through the television (cause you're obviously a better football coach than theirs), remember that your name is Bill and not Coach Awesome of All Football Land. So chill out, bro.

And the Packer game this weekend. Oh boy, what a horrible ending to a fantastic season. But they played like shit and that's all there is to it! Butter was most definitely involved during the pregame warm-up because they couldn't hold onto the ball to save their lives. So, I agree, I was saddened by the loss. But my social media go-to's showed me that some people brought sadness to a whole new level. People cursing at Illinoisans (where I'm from) about how it must suck that they come from such a shitty state for sports. Um, excuse me, first off: Illinois has nothing to do with the Packers' loss. Illinois can't really talk anyway because they Bears didn't do so hot this year. Secondly: Illinois is a great place and the word FIB is getting so overused that I'm pretty sure I don't even hear it anymore when people call me it. So, shut the hell up and wallow in your sorrows alone. Not everyone and their mom has to be brought down with your depressing ass. Especially if the only reason you're bringing them down is because of their location on the United States map. Pathetic. (Although I will admit, some Illinoisans were being pretty ignorant about the game, too, so shame on you).

WHEW! These things had to be said. Stop being bro's (even you girls out there) and just enjoy the game like it was intended. Then I can begin to feel comfortable leaving the confines of my home to watch the game and not feel the need to wear a bullet-proof vest when I enter a sports bar. That is all.

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Oh and Packers, there's always next year, babes.

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Until next time,

erika

Resolutions

Now Playing - Somebody That I Used To Know by Gotye ft. Kimbra

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Hey all,

I've never been one to make resolutions each year, but this time around a change needed to be made. Many aspects in my life are going to be different this year; track ending, an addition of another major, weddings, friends' graduations, you name it. With that, a new list of objectives come to mind and I hope it's not bothersome if I share them with you. These goals are physical, mental, emotional or all of the above, so bear with me.

1. Run a marathon.

I run all the time. However, it's not often that I feel like I'm in control of my own physical destiny. I get told what to do and how to do it day in and day out and with that, redundancy in the activity that I love takes over. With the ending of my collegiate athletic career approaching fast, I see several opportunities to expand my running horizons. So, why not a marathon? What a challenge it is to set a goal on both something physically and mentally draining! And I'm ready to take that on! I crave this challenge. I'm not being told how to do it or what to do, I'm in control of myself. With that, I'm more than excited to hit the pavement as a distance runner.

2. Do all sorts of road races -- including triathlons!

Obviously there must be a half marathon to do in preparation for the full, and I'm hoping to accomplish this at Summerfest in early July (just crossing my fingers that they get their shit straight with hydration and medical assistance). Also, throw in some fun obstacle runs that will undoubtedly push my body to its limits: Tough Mudder, Dirty Girl, Muddy Buddy, Women's Triathlons, you name it. I'm more than excited.

3. Find my match.

This doesn't necessarily mean love (although, that'd be wonderful). But, I'd be ecstatic to find that person that I mesh with so perfectly that there's no chance of ever falling out of each others' lives. Now, I have many people like that already, but why not add one more to the arsenal? Perhaps this person could be a fellow runner, someone with a love for writing, or just somebody who happens to be as obsessed with dogs as much as I am. And like I said before, if that person ends up being a man that I fall in love with, I'm not complainin'. Who knows? Maybe I've met him. This is when I ask God for guidance.

4. Get my finances straight.

Holy cow. I need to work on finding some good fiscal sense. Anybody else with me? Can I get a "Shit, I'm broke!"??

5. Travel (or at least set up a plan to do so).

Please, oh please, let me get out of this country... at least for a little bit. I can't fathom living in America for my entire life and not experiencing the other 6 billion people that live beyond these borders. And I don't mean going to London or Paris and seeing the sights (although I wouldn't complain), but I want to go out and make a difference! Whether that is simply meeting people from across the globe or going full-on into the depths of poverty and finding change, I want to do it! I need to do it. My heart hurts when I think of being confined within this United States bubble. I'd love to spend a good portion of my life abroad. Anybody have any advice? I'll take all I can get.

6. Keep up in school.

I gotta keep my eye on the prize: finding a job that I adore and being able to live independently.

7. Show the people in my life how much I care for them.

I think this one is self-explanatory. But, in case I'm wrong, I want to make sure those around me know how they've affected my life. And with that, I'd love to meet more people to further positively alter my life. I have amazing people around me and I can only hope that God continues to bless me with more. And I will show them, as well, how much they mean to me.

8. Befriend someone I never thought I would.

My walls shoot up when I find myself in social or cultural situations I'm not comfortable with. So, why not take advantage of this as an opportunity to learn more about one's culture or lifestyle? I see no harm in expanding my horizons. So, if that person ends up being a one-eyed Hawaiian Jehovah's Witness, then so be it! At least I'll have insight the next time I meet one.

9. Maintain better contact with my family.

My immediate family is spread out (I mentioned this before in another post, Thanksmas) across the country. Their lives don't intersect with mine every day anymore, and unfortunately, not many of us are too great at attacking this problem. I'd like to initiate that and heighten communication with the people who made me who I am today. In addition, my extended family and I aren't very close. I want to bridge those gaps and make strong relationships out of ones that seem to be very -- "fake," I guess -- now.

10. Intern!

Doing two sports since college began has led to a pit in my stomach that's screaming "You're not ready for a career!" So in 2012, I'm gonna go crazy on gaining some experience in my field! GIMME GIMME GIMME! Obnoxious, I know, BUT! with the job force the way it is, it's gotta be done. Not only for my career, but for a confidence boost I need in myself: knowing that I can do what I love and that other people will be appreciative of that and accept me into their work environment.

11. Be happy!

Whatever it takes (as long as it's within legal and moral bounds, of course).

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Whew! I intended that to be much, much shorter (as usual). Thanks for checkin' her out! Feedback, people, feedback! And please, let me know what your plans are for 2012!

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Until next time,

erika